duminică, 23 octombrie 2016

I drink for all the women within me

Lavinia Parvu- I live for my drunk texts

   I woke up late, with a huge hangover of sadness. After spending the night, that white night, just thinking how to please myself better.
   I become the prisoner of my own choices. Choices which at one point saved me from death, but which now are keeping me far away from life. This madness of vegetation without any purpose, eventually will destroy all my erotic illusions. 
   At the end of each crazy, white night I wake up overloaded by interrogations which don't need any answer, but only my soul to be devoured. In the end I will feed myself with me. I will be my last supper. 
   I have lied myself about the clarity of life. Until now, only my darkness showed me where I most need to grow. My darkness is my ally. I don't need the hypocrisy of light. I am honest in my dark side. I like myself better when I can be honest with me. Even if this is very rare.
   My life made sense as long as I didn't forced myself to give it one. 
   I kept looking for a man who is able to give me a place not only in his bed, but also in his eternity. That man managed somehow to ruin my favourite song. More said, he has ruined my favourite playlist. But he also taught me to bent the rules, without breaking them. 
   Ah, autumn. You came with your calm and dark spirit, and you have opened the doorway to the season that awakens my soul. I feel again the taste of what life really means.
   Now I need to get back to my truth: I hope that the person which I am choosing to be, will choose me also. Because I do not want to be the one I used to be anymore. I decided to remain the one which I became with the promise that if I ever find myself in the wrong story, I will definitely leave.

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